Am I Stuck or Growing?

“Growth” can mean different things to different people. There’s a lot of pressure in society to be “successful” or “accomplished”, but that’s not really the same thing as personal growth. Success is often measured by external standards. It can mean reaching a certain milestone or achieving a certain goal. When we talk about personal growth, we’re referring to a more internal process of learning, self-development, and emotional understanding. Today I want to explore what exactly growth means. My hope is that people who are feeling “stuck”, or feel like they’re not “progressing” in life, can start to recognize the more subtle signs that show how they are, in fact, growing.

Growth isn’t linear

When we think about personal growth, it’s tempting to imagine a straight, upward line—always moving forward, always improving. But in reality, growth is much more like a winding road. You go forward, you might take a detour, you might pause, you might go backwards, and then you go forward again. 

There might come a time in your life when you feel stagnant. Maybe you’ve been working the same job for a while without advancing. Maybe you’ve had the same daily or weekly routine for years. Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re not growing. Personal growth can take place even when you’re reflecting, processing, healing, or just resting. These periods of stillness are important; they allow you to prepare for your next step forward. Think of how your body recovers from a busy day by sleeping through the night. In a similar way, you need periods of stillness in order to have the energy for more exciting things in the future.

Signs you’re growing (even if you don’t realize it)

1. You’re a little more self-aware than you used to be Growth can sometimes mean simply understanding yourself a little better than you did before. Are you noticing certain patterns in your behaviour? Or maybe you notice that a certain trigger can spark a particular emotion in you. This kind of self-awareness comes with time and self-reflection. It’s an important piece when it comes to meaningful change.
   

2. You can regulate your emotions a little better How do you handle stress? Is it different from how you would have handled it 5 or 10 years ago? Have you maybe found new ways to calm yourself during tense moments? Do you find yourself responding more thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively? Those are all clear signs of emotional growth.
   

3. You’ve shifted your perspective Most of us can look back and realize that we see the world differently now, compared to how we saw it in our teens, 20’s, 30’s, etc. Maybe you’re more open to other viewpoints or more forgiving of yourself and other people. Sometimes growth can just be a shift in perspective.
   

4. Your relationships are healthier Often when we’ve experienced some personal growth, it improves our relationships with others. This could impact your relationship with your partner, your coworkers, your friends, etc. Maybe you’re more honest with people about your feelings or you’ve learned how to communicate a bit more effectively. Maybe you’ve learned to surround yourself with people who lift you up. Again, all signs of growth.
   

5. You’re trying new things Stepping out of your comfort zone, even in little ways, opens you up to new experiences. And new experiences bring new lessons. Did you pick up a new hobby? Did you speak up for yourself when you normally would’ve let something slide? The willingness to explore new ideas shows that you’re evolving and progressing.
   

   

   
   

Some practical tips to recognize your own personal progress

1. Keep a journal Writing is a great way to reflect. Write down moments where you feel proud of yourself. Make a note of when you learn something new. Try to keep a journal for an extended period of time, even if you’re just writing a sentence or two on some days. The longer you keep it up, the more data you’ll have. Over time, you’ll be able to see how far you’ve come.
   

2. Ask for feedback We’re often moving through life with blinders on. Sometimes, the people close to us notice how we’ve changed before we do. You could ask a friend or family member if they’ve noticed any positive changes in you. Notice if you’ve seen these changes in yourself as well or if they sound new to you.
   

3. Take time to reflect regularly Keep some quiet time aside on a weekly basis (or as often as makes sense for you) when you can reflect on your life. Think about where you were six months or a year ago. Are you handling things differently? Do you feel stronger in certain ways? Let yourself sit with the feeling of positive change. The more you feel it, the easier it’ll be to recognize it in the future.
   

Be kind to yourself!

For many people, it’s easy to focus on how we’re failing or stagnating, rather than how we’re changing for the better. Remember that growth is a winding road, not a linear graph. Progress doesn’t always look or feel the way we expect it to, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Trust the process and trust yourself. Don’t pressure yourself to be perfect. Just celebrate the small ways in which you’ve adapted and improved.

Growth is subtle, complex, and deeply individual. If you’re asking yourself, “Am I stuck or am I growing?”, that’s a sign that you’re already tuning in to yourself, which is a big first step toward personal growth!

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