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When I teach my class at the University of Guelph in the Masters of Relational and Family Therapy program, I tell students that there are words that I hate. Okay, I exaggerate, but I do tell students to avoid all buzz words that they may encounter -- buzz words such as depression, anxiety, trauma, ADHD, OCD, stress, etc.
All of these words have gained immense popularity in recent years, but they have also lost their meaning. These words were originally very useful to describe and categorize a complex set of behaviors. However, now they have become a part of our everyday language. When we use these words too loosely, their complexity is lost.
The students that I teach are witness to me repeatedly saying “Forget the label, capture the human experience.” As a therapist, I also keep that same wondering. I like to explore these complexities with questions like, “What is your relationship to your diagnosis?” and “Yes you experience [insert buzz word here], but what does that look like for you?"
Beyond that, I like to capture the human experience with a new set of words. Words that I hope can someday be adopted by the masses to describe their complex human behaviors. As conversations about mental health become more prevalent, particularly with the rise of social media, it seems to be that mental health identifiers such as depression, anxiety, trauma, ADHD, OCD, and stress, are less about describing behavior and more about describing an identity. Oddly, these identifiers now become something you have to have.
Alternatively, I propose these words - fear, despair, tension, complex (used as a noun, rather than an adjective). Similarly, with couples and families I like to move beyond needs and emotions to a place of understanding, comprehension, repetitiveness, duty, attention, thoughtfulness, and pleasure. It is my opinion that the way we talk about things impacts how we then think, feel, and act. Words have power, and some words are just better than other words. For example, you may not have depression, you may not even be depressed - but you may feel hopeless. Something about hopelessness feels more transient, but having depression or being depressed can feel permanent.
Ultimately, my hope is that clients and therapists alike can learn to unpack these buzz words and focus on the underlying complexities instead. I believe the specificity of words like fear, despair, tension, etc., can help clients to better understand their emotions, which contributes to better self-awareness and problem-solving.
Want to learn to understand yourself and your complex emotions better? Our therapists offer free consultations for new clients. Let us help you on your journey of self-discovery.
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