The Things We Carry: Letting Go of Emotional Weight

We are all carrying a lot right now. Some of us more than others. At times, you might feel an emotional weight that you can’t quite place. Maybe nothing obviously devastating has taken place, but the little bits of emotional and mental baggage have accumulated over time.

A month ago, someone made a comment that stung you and you’ve been replaying in your head ever since. Your friend asked you to help them move this weekend but you cancelled because you need the rest and now you feel guilty. Your boss has been stressed out and taking it out on you. You’re not sleeping enough. Mom called you 3 days ago and you still haven’t returned her call.

So many little things build up in our minds and in our bodies. Some are painful and some are mundane. And some belong to us, and others don’t. When they’re all tangled together, it can feel like a huge burden.

So why do we carry things?

Some things just make sense. I might carry the weight of not sleeping because my body is physically exhausted. But why am I still feeling stuck on that one thing someone said a month ago? Sometimes holding onto things is a signa, telling us this matters. Even when something is over and we think we should be able to move on, we repeat it to ourselves almost like a reminder that this is important. It might have touched on an unresolved grief or experience of loss that we haven’t fully processed.

In therapy, we talk a lot about “letting go”. But it’s not really the same as “getting over it.” It’s more complicated than that. Letting go means noticing what you carry, deciding what’s yours to carry, and what you may be able to put down, even for a little while. It is about changing your relationship to what you carry. 

So this month, as the year starts to wind down, we can just practice noticing. Notice the weight. What are you holding onto? Are you holding onto it on behalf of someone else? Is it tied to feelings of guilt? Does it feel bad to hold it? What can you hold more gently? What can you put down temporarily and pick up again later? You don’t have to empty your mind completely. Just start by noticing, recognizing what kinds of things are taking up real estate in your head.

Once you’ve noticed, you can start to practice letting go.

Okay, so you didn’t help your friend move this past weekend because you were exhausted and needed the rest. Are you carrying the guilt because you’re worried about what they’ll think of you? Or maybe you think you’ve hurt their feelings? Do you feel like a bad friend? Now that you’ve noticed what it is that you’re carrying, see if you can think about it from a different perspective. Can you set the guilt down for a moment and hold space for the knowledge that work has been very busy, you haven’t been sleeping well, and you needed to recharge? Maybe putting down the guilt has also opened up some room for knowing that your friend said they totally understood and had other helpers to rely on. Sometimes when we put things down, we can pick up other things. 

See if you can practice noticing the things you’re carrying this month. And if you need help talking it out, you can always call us. 

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